MagicMessenger
by BlackScarredArrow
Summary: A series of talks in which Camelot and it's surrounding area can talk, mock and aggravate eachother. Need i say more? Rated T for safety.
1. Chapter 1

_Well hello there people of the Merthur Fandom!_

_Im not normally a fan of this type of fiction but i thought i would give it a try anyway, Enjoy._

* * *

_**OneOfAKind has signed in.**_

_**BlondRoyalty has signed in.**_

BlondRoyalty**:** Hello?

OneOfAKind: Hello young Prince. I must warn you; Troubling times are coming; you should keep your most treasured close to you.

BlondRoyalty: Is that a threat? Who are you?

OneOfAKind: It is not who, but what.

_**SecretAugurer has signed in.**_

SecretAugurer: Hey.

BlondRoyalty: What do you mean? What are you?

BlondRoyalty: And who in the hell are you?

SecretAugurer: Nice Arthur, real polite you. And are you talking to yourself?

BlondRoyalty: Merlin! No I'm not talking to myself, this peasant is threatening me!

OneOfAKind: I am neither a peasant or have any intention of threatening you Sire.

OneOfAKind: And nice name Merlin, very creative, if not a little off.

BlondRoyalty: Then what are you! I demand you tell me!

SecretAugurer: (Ignoring OneOfAKind) Pay no attention to it Arthur; it's what I have to do on a regular basis.

BlondRoyalty: You know this oddity?

SecretAugurer: Unfortunately.

BlondRoyalty: Tell me who he is.

OneOfAKind: Be careful what you say young 'Augurer', you might regret it.

SecretAugurer: (Still ignoring OneOfAKind) No can do Sire, he's not in the Camelot region so you shouldn't be worried.

BlondRoyalty: ... Don't make me put you in the stocks Merlin! And what in the hell is an 'Augurer'?

SecretAugurer: Oops! Have jobs to do! Bye Sire!

BlondRoyalty: MERLIN!

_**SecretAugurer has signed off.**_

OneOfAKind: At least I'm not the only one he ignores. So Prince Arthur, when do you plan on telling him?

BlondRoyalty: Planning on telling him what oddity?

OneOfAKind: Of your hearts desires of course!

BlondRoyalty: He already knows about Gwen.

OneOfAKind: It's not healthy to lie to yourself you know. We both know you have no feelings, if not distaste, towards Gwen.

_**SecretAugurer has signed in.**_

OneOfAKind: Ah, young 'Augurer' back so soon?

SecretAugurer: I swear, if you tell him anything Kilgharrah, I will make your life living hell.

BlondRoyalty: Tell me what Merlin?

...

...

...

_**SecretAugurer has signed off.**_

BlondRoyalty: What kind of name is Kilgharrah?

OneOfAKind: An old one. What kind of Prince lets his servant ignore him without punishment?

BlondRoyalty: Oh, I'll punish him later.

OneOfAKind: ...Too much information Sire. Have fun with your upcoming conversation.

BlondRoyalty: Pardon?

_**OneOfAKind has signed off.**_

BlondRoyalty: Kilgharrah!

_**HandyGirl has signed in.**_

HandyGirl: Hey, it's Gwen!

BlondRoyalty: Oh, er, hi Gwen. Sorry but I must be heading off to the training grounds. Bye.

_**BlondRoyalty has signed off.**_

HandyGirl: He so wants me.

_**HandyGirl has signed off.**_

* * *

Chapter arn't likley to be similar lengths. It depends on what mood I was in when typing.

_Augurer_ is someone who can tell the future threw watching a flock or birds. I know Merlin isn't a Seer but i liked the sound of the word.

~BSA


	2. Chapter 2

I own nothing. Merlin belongs to the BBC and the Arthurian Legends!

* * *

_**SleepingSoothsayer has signed in.**_

_**SecretAugurer has signed in.**_

SecretAugurer: Hello Lady Morgana, its Merlin. I heard you wanted to talk to me?

SleepingSoothsayer: Oh, hello Merlin, I was wondering if I could talk to you about Arthur.

SecretAugurer: What about Arthur?

SleepingSoothsayer: Now now Merlin! No need to be coy! I know how you feel about our dear Arthur; no need o hide it from me. He feels the same way you know.

_**OneOfAKind has signed in**_.

OneOfAKind: The seer is right you know Merlin.

SecretAugurer: You're both crazy.

SleepingSoothsayer: What did you just call me? And who are you?

OneOfAKind: A Seer, I know you see visions of the future. Merlin knows as well. You have nothing to fear.

SecretAugurer: Me? Have feelings for the Prat? You're both deluded! Insane!

SleepingSoothsayer: Okay, but that still doesn't answer the question of who you are.

OneOfAKind: Ah, that I may not say but will be apparent one day!

SecretAugurer: Been at the cider you two have.

SecretAugurer: Wait, Kilgharrah, can you even get drunk? That would be a sight to see.

OneOfAKind: No Merlin I cannot.

SleepingSoothsayer: Merlin you know this man?

SecretAugurer: He is not a man. He is the bane of my existence. Not if you'll excuse me Mi' lady. I must be off.

SleepingSoothsayer: Wait Merlin! If you do not tell Arthur I will!

_**BlondRoyalty has signed in.**_ (Whilst SecretAugurer is ranting)

SecretAugurer: You wouldn't. I don't even like him! He's a royal Prat! He's arrogant, a clotpoll and he's an arse! He lacks in most manners and I would love for him to be placed in the stocks so I can throw rotten tomatoes at HIM for once!

BlondRoyalty: Well, that's a nice hello.

...

OneOfAKind: Hmm... How interesting. Wouldn't you agree Morgana?

SleepingSoothsayer: I would agree with you Kilgharrah. Shall we stay or give the lovebirds some privacy.

OneOfAKind: Well, see as Arthur wants to 'punish' Merlin I am leaning towards leaving.

SleepingSoothsayer: That sounds kinky.

BlondRoyalty: What in the hell are you two yapping on about? And Merlin may I ask who you were referring to?

SecretAugurer: Er, Giaus is calling! Goodbye everyone!

_**SecretAugurer has signed off**_.

SleepingSoothsayer: Well that was no fun.

_**MedicineMan has signed in.**_

MedicineMan: Does anyone know why Merlin just ran out of his room muttering that he is 'dead'.

OneOfAKind: Well Giaus, in his denial of loving the Prince, Merlin has called the Prince an 'Arrogant Arse' among other things.

BlondRoyalty: Aha! So he was talking about me! He's so dead!

MedicineMan: I think he was heading towards the stables Sire.

BlondRoyalty: Thank you Giaus!

_**BlondRoyalty has signed off**_.

SleepingSoothsayer: Giaus! I thought you liked Merlin

MedicineMan: I do Mi' Lady, but I think its unlikely Merlin is going to... dislike his punishment.

_**King_Uther has signed in.**_

_**OneOfAKind has signed out.**_

MedicineMan: Good evening Sire.

King_Uther: Good evening Giaus, Lady Morgana.

SleepingSoothsayer: Creative name My Lord.

King_Uther: And yours Lady Morgana! (Unable to sense sarcasm from 'gana) May i ask what a Soothsay is?

MedicineMan: It means sleeping beauty Sire.

King_Uther: As long as it is not Magic. Speaking of Magic, what is this?

SleepingSoothsayer: It is a form of technology Sire, used for quick communication, nothing magical here Sire!

King_Uther: Who is this 'OneOfAKind' person?

MedicineMan: Just an old friend Sire. I must take my leave, good bye My Lord, Lady Morgana.

_**MedicineMan has signed Off. **_

SleepingSoothsayer: I must leave as well Mi' Lord, goodnight.

_**SleepingSoothsayer has signed off.**_

_**DruidBoy has signed in.**_

DruidBoy: Well hello Uther.

King_Uther: DRUID! IDENTIFY YOURSELF BOY!

DruidBoy: Now where would the fun be in that?

King_Uther: IDENTIFY YOURSELF!

DruidBoy: No thanks, Troll-Fondler.

King_Uther: ...What did you call me?

DruidBoy: TROLL. FONDLER. I heard you got freaky with a Troll. I bet that was magical wasn't it Sire?

King_Uther: HOW DARE YOU! I WILL MAKE YOU WILL REGRET THE DAY YOU WERE BORN.

DruidBoy: What you gunner do? Fondle me? Pervert.

_**DruidBoy has signed off.**_

King_Uther: COWARD!

* * *

:)


	3. Chapter 3

I own nothing but th wierd convosations.

* * *

_**Gwapple has signed in.**_

Gwapple: Oh Apple, how I love thee! Thy sweet juices jolting my taste buds with every bite!

_**SkilfulSword has signed in.**_

SkilfulSword: Gwaine?

Gwapple: Apple?

SkilfulSword: No Gwaine, its Lancelot.

Gwapple: Oh. Hey Lance, did you hear the noises coming from the stables?

SkilfulSword: Haven't passed them today. Why?

Gwapple: I'm sure I heard our favourite couple getting it on!

SkilfulSword: Thank the Lord! I don't think I could stand Arthurs constant need to show off by kicking us about in training. My back still hurts from last week!

Gwapple: Suck it up man! Your second best with a sword, you get off lucky!

SkilfulSword: Who's the best then?

Gwapple: Me Of course!

SkilfulSword: ...

Gwapple: I can prove it you want. I know your 'sword handy' and all, but I can guarantee I'll beat you with my, very extravagant, sword.

SkilfulSword: Why do get the feeling that you're not talking about sword fight anymore.

Gwapple: Because I'm not.

_**HandyGirl has signed in.**_

HandyGirl: Well Hello. You boys busy?

SkilfulSword: Terribly sorry Gwen but I'm going to be... pre-occupied... for the rest of the night.

Gwapple: I too will be busy tonight. Yours or mine Lance?

SkilfulSword: Yours. See you in five.

_**SkilfulSword has signed off. **_

Gwapple: Finally! Though apple has gone rotten, thoust i now poach a sweeter delight!

_**Gwapple has signed off.**_

HandyGirl: Hmmm, was that an invitation?

_**HandyGirl has signed off.**_

* * *

Short but sweet. I'll probably make another Gwapple one :D** _  
_**

These chapter will be randomly uploaded with no pattern at all.**_  
_**


End file.
